


Greaser

by carterbaizen



Series: Greaser [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Sebastian Stan - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Swearing, Violence, biker!AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-17
Updated: 2020-01-25
Packaged: 2021-02-07 19:45:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 19,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21463528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carterbaizen/pseuds/carterbaizen
Summary: in which the grumpy one is soft for the sunshine one.  [biker!au]
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Greaser [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1547203
Comments: 2
Kudos: 31





	1. 01

She can’t breathe. It’s stuffy inside the church, and she’s already taken her jumper off leaving her in a simple black tank. People understood why she had her head ducked as they spoke, unable to meet their gaze. Eyes focussed on the crumpled tissue in her hand that was damp with tears. Only rising to collect more with every story told.

They’d lost a member of their community. A man who only had pure intentions, and helped everyone whenever he could. A man that had affected their lives in many ways. A man –  _ her father _ , who’d been the victim of a violent crime. The man they had all come to the church to farewell, seeming like the entire community was in attendance. She knew better than to cast doubt – she’d even seen the biker gang lined along the road on her way inside. Men who were feared in the community, but had come to pay their respects to the man who’d run the food bank for several years. Helping them stay fed and warm in the cooler temperatures when they had nothing.

And it hurt. It hurt because she wanted to have a small funeral. It hurt because she wanted to cremate her father and be done with it, but the police hadn’t let her. They’d insisted the funeral will be open to the public, since her father was so beloved in the community. They’d assured her the person responsible for his murder would also turn up, and that they’d be watching.

But she knew the chances of that happening were slim to none. She knew they’d got their point across; don’t fuck with us. It was abundantly clear as she stared at the casket in front of her, a constant reminder that she hadn’t done enough. That she couldn’t save him.

And she couldn’t fucking breathe.

There’s a permanent weight settled on her chest restricting her breathing. She’s hurting badly and the crying only makes it worse. It dehydrated her and made her feel sick. Sinuses blocked, and head throbbing, Nora was sure she was a mess. Anyone else in her place would be. But maybe they would have actually tried to stop the attack. Maybe they would have succeeded. Maybe, just maybe, they wouldn’t feel the crushing guilt that she did.

Nora mustered up a smile as she took to the podium. She didn’t want to talk, but Amanda had convinced her to say a few words. Even be it a ‘thank you’ to everyone for their overwhelming support, they all knew how distraught she must be.

“I know many of you have travelled here today from out of town and I want to thank you,” Nora started strongly. It was hard to keep her voice from wavering, and hard to sound strong when she sounded so congested, but she made do. “My father impacted this community more than I ever thought possible. I knew he helped run the soup kitchen, and stayed late at school to help with homework, but I didn’t truly know how many lives he’d affected until seeing this turnout today. Thank you all for your love and support.”

Nora returned to her seat with a fresh set of tears hitting her like a tidal wave. Through wet eyes she watched a handful of her father’s best friends slowly made their way up the aisle to the casket. It was hard for Nora watching Glen and Dave, uncle Ricky, Mel and Doc gather together to carry her father’s casket out. It was even harder watching the men try to find a sixth person to take up the back, until one of the bikers who’d been standing near the door at the back approached Nora.

She wasn’t sure what she was expecting, but having him politely ask if it was okay to help carry her father hadn’t crossed her mind. Nora nodded numbly, leaning against Amanda for support as she wrapped her arm around her. Showing her some comfort as everyone else rose to their feet. A piece of her father’s favourite music playing as he was carried out of the church. Everyone watching as she followed close behind, arm in arm with her best friend, Amanda.

Funerals weren’t for the dead, they were for the living. And they fucking sucked.

Outside the church was more intense than inside. Nora could truly feel the presence of the community as she looked upon all of the faces of the people who’d attended. Most of them strangers, but some were familiar. Old neighbours or teachers, or kids she’d gone to school with who’d grown up. But ever since she’d left town to pursue her own career her father had touched the lives of so many more new people.

It overwhelmed her, so she was grateful to have the chance to bury her father with just family and friends present. Of course, the police around the gravesite didn’t go unnoticed, but it was a lot more intimate and gave Nora the chance to breathe. 

Amanda squeezed Nora’s arm reassuringly as the casket was lowered into the grave. It felt pointless burying an empty casket, when her father’s remains were in an urn back at his house, but it was what the police wanted. They wanted to see if any of their suspects showed up to the service. They wanted to put on a show, almost to taunt the killer out of hiding.

“You want me to talk to the detective?” Amanda asked. Her voice was raw from her own crying, but she was trying to be strong for Nora.

“It’s okay,” Nora assured her, rolling her shoulders back and attempting to stand a little taller. Her own voice was scratchy and unfamiliar to her own ears. “I can talk to her.”

The truth was that she didn’t know if she could, just that she had to try. Needing the conversation to aid as a distraction momentarily. The funeral was just for show. Her father had been cremated since his wounds were so horrifying, and Nora was still obligated to follow his wishes as closely as she could. Passing off the funeral as closed casket because of the wounds, and burying it empty. The police thought that if there was an actual gravesite that eventually, if the murderer didn’t show up to the funeral, that they’d be watching the gravesite. In which time, the police would be able to act.

It was a slow process. One Nora wished she hadn’t agreed to. She was doing her own investigation, so having the police following a more tedious lead meant she could focus her energy elsewhere.

Detective Hill approached Nora and Amanda with a weary smile. “Hi girls, how’re you holding up, Nora?”

Detective Hill had been in several of Nora’s classes at school while growing up. Better known back then as Maria, she now went by Hill or Detective. Or better yet, Detective Hill.

Nora attempted to smile, but to the Detective it looked more like a grimace. “As well as anyone pretending to bury their father could be,” Nora replied. She didn’t intend to come across as rude, but it was the truth. The whole situation was barbaric. “Have you or your men seen anyone that shouldn’t be here?”

“Not yet, I’m afraid,” she revealed. “But we will. I’m sure of it.”

Nora nodded, done with the conversation for now. “Okay, good. Thank you.”

She wanted to know when she could go home. How much longer she had to tolerate this bullshit when all she wanted to do was finish a bottle of wine and stuff her face in one of the various food dishes grieving friends had given her. At this point, her fridge was chock-full of pasta dishes and casseroles, she barely had any room to keep her wine cool. But if it wasn’t for Amanda having the idea to freeze most of the food given to her, she would have had to deal with the awkwardness of lying to people’s faces, telling them she loved and appreciated their meal if she threw it away.

Right now she couldn’t deal with juggling any more lies.

“I’m going to run you a bath, okay?”

Amanda was an angel and Nora wasn’t sure how well she’d be coping if it wasn’t for her. They’d been best friends for as long as they could remember. Amanda had been the one who’d pushed Nora to follow her dream of teaching, and to apply to the best colleges. She knew the kind-hearted woman would benefit from experiencing life outside their hometown, and had encouraged the move out of state. Nora had been terrified, but Amanda was going to a college not an hour away, so she wasn’t completely alone.

It had been daunting making the move, but her father had been supportive, too. He knew she’d make a great teacher one day, but that she needed to meet new people and experience new things that their small town couldn’t offer. And it had paid off. People had come into her life and she’d experienced love and heartbreak and pure euphoria, and had helped her realise that maybe there was more to life than teaching. She’d become an elementary school teacher, and began taking night classes for a law program. Wanting to fully immerse herself in life and find out what she actually wanted to do with her life.

And then during a case she was working on her father had been murdered, so she’d dropped everyone to come home.

Nora hugged Amanda before she went upstairs. She needed the comfort, and to show her appreciation to her best friend. Amanda reciprocated the hug without hesitation.

“You want me to stay or go after running the bath?” Amanda asked. She knew Nora well enough to know when she’d start closing in on herself. Today had been an exhausting day, and so she wanted to give Nora the opportunity to tell her what she actually wanted.

“Go.”

“Okay,” she agreed, rubbing Nora’s back comfortingly. “Go pour yourself a glass of wine.”

Nora did as she was told, heading into the kitchen to pour herself a large glass of wine. Grabbing out the bottle Amanda had bought around earlier in the day, anticipating how she was going to spend her night. As per usual, she was right. Nora twisted the cap off and filled a glass with the red liquid. Taking a sip before putting the bottle back in the fridge and hunting for the chocolate she knew her father kept in the freezer.

Part of her didn’t want to eat it. It was the last block he’d ever bought, and he hadn’t got the chance to open it yet. She felt bad, but she also wanted the comfort. Shedding a tear as she opened the block and snapped off a few squares before heading upstairs.

“I need different chocolate,” Nora requested, standing in the doorway of the bathroom. Amanda took in her appearance. The fresh tears, full glass of wine and chocolate between her fingers. “This is dad’s.”

Amanda didn’t question it. Agreeing in a heartbeat, and switching the tap off. “I’ll go pick some up. You want anything else?”

Nora placed her glass of wine on the edge of the tub. “A greasy pizza. I’m fucking sick of Linda’s casserole.”

Amanda laughed under her breath. “I’ll be about an hour. Try to relax and enjoy the bath, okay? I’ll lock the door behind me.”

Baths were comforting. Nora embraced the heat and silky bubbles as she slid into the tub, clothes in a pile on the floor, hair in a messy knot on the top of her head. She’d placed the chocolate in her mouth, sucking on it so it melted over time, rather than chewing. It was something she’d always done. Savouring the treat. Closing her eyes as she leant back and tried to stop her mind from running a million miles a minute.

Only when the water grew cold did Nora emerge from the tub. Drying herself off and slipping into her gown. Drawing the material around her closely and tying it at the waist. The water in the tub draining as she left the bathroom, clothes scooped under one arm and empty glass of wine in her other hand. Heading downstairs to dump the clothes in the machine in the washroom before topping up her glass. Sipping her wine as she went around and closed some curtains, movement in the backyard catching her eye. Paranoia setting it and causing her to dial 911.

“Hello, 911, what is your emergency?”

Nora peeked through the curtain, swearing she could see a human-sized silhouette attempting to scamper back over the fence.

“My name is Nora Baker and there’s someone in my backyard.”


	2. 02

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the gang finds out about edward baker's death

“I’m out overnight,” Bucky addressed Patriarchy, having knocked twice on his door before letting himself in. “Personal errand. I’ll be back before Church tomorrow at 10.”

Patriarchy nodded. “Anything I need to know about?”

“Just that it doesn’t affect club business,” Bucky assured him. “Matriarchy knows how to contact me if there’s an emergency.”

“Touch base when you get to where you’re going,” Patriarchy asserted. “And before you head back. Widow’s heard whispers of something big happening in the city. We’re not sure if it’ll spread out to us.”

Bucky nodded. “Understood. That what Church is about tomorrow?”

“We’ll discuss it together tomorrow,” he told him, his answer not requiring a response. “If you see Matriarchy on your way out send her in.”

Bucky closed the door behind him and weaved his way through the clubhouse. Heading outside to where one of the prospects – a kid called Parker, – was finishing packing his bike.

“Kid, you know where Matriarchy is?”

“I can find her for you, Mr. Bucky.”

Hard as he’d tried, he hadn’t been able to stop the kid from calling him ‘Mr. Bucky’ so now he just rolled with it. Even if it pissed him off. “If you see her just check if she’s seen Patriarchy. He mentioned wanting to see her.”

The kid nodded. “You’re all set for your trip. When are you coming back?”

“Didn’t Widow want your help restocking the bar?” Bucky diverted the line of questioning away from him. Parker’s eyes widened; he’d forgotten. “Avoid asking too many questions, kid. Not everyone appreciates your curiosity or enthusiasm.”

“Of course. Sorry, Mr. Bucky. Thank you.”

Prospects, like Parker, were trying to prove their loyalty to the club to get patched in. They did anything the gang decided they needed to do in order to help their ‘application,’ even if it meant they folded laundry or picked up groceries. Usually it was a test to see if they’d do the patched members menial chores they’d forgotten to do, or simply just listen to orders without question. Usually they were okay, but every now and then a prospect seemed too curious about club business. It wasn’t always harmless questioning – sometimes it was an undercover officer trying to infiltrate the gang.

Parker seemed like a good kid. Bucky didn’t want him to see the wrong end of a tire iron.

“Kid, where’d you put my cigarettes?”

“They’re in your helmet. Thought you might like one before you headed off.”

The kid gave him a smile before he ducked inside the clubhouse. Bucky reached for his helmet, grabbing the pack of smokes and digging through his pockets for his zippo. Flicking back the lid and brushing it down his thigh to light it before raising it to the cigarette hanging from his lips. Inhaling deeply to keep it lit before tucking the lighter back in his pocket and sticking the helmet on his head.

“Glad I caught you.” Widow approached Bucky with her signature smirk. “Kid tells me you’re off on a personal trip.”

“Tell him he needs to learn to keep his mouth shut before I shut it for him,” Bucky snapped.

Widow raised her hands in defence. “I only asked him why he was so late. Mentioned you asked him to set up his bike for a trip. He’s not running his mouth, Barnes. Take a breath.”

Bucky exaggerated his next breath, making the red-head laugh. “What’s up, Tasha?”

“You gonna bite my head off if I ask where you’re going?”

“Yeah, it’s personal. That’s all you need to know.” Widow nodded her head. “I’ll be back tomorrow morning. I’m not going far, I just...have to do something I haven’t done in a while.”

“Have a safe ride,” she told him. “I’ll annoy you when you get back tomorrow.”

“Tell the kid to stop running his mouth, will you?” He asked her. “It’ll get him in trouble one of these days.”

Widow mock-saluted the former soldier and let him be. Bucky gave a small chortle and swung his leg over the bike, buckling his helmet before kicking the stand up and starting the bike. It growled to life beneath him and moments later he’d left the compound.

+++

Bucky blinked the sleep out of his eyes as he stared at the message lighting up his phone screen.

_911\. Church as soon as you get in.___

_ _ Bucky was out of bed in a heartbeat. Throwing clothes in his duffel and sliding his feet into his combat boots. Making sure he had everything before scribbling out a note to stick on the fridge. Wishing that he could’ve said a proper goodbye, but knowing there was no time for it. Kicking the door shut behind him and strapping his bag onto his bike. The loud roar of the engine most likely pissing off the neighbours considering how early it was, but he had to go._ _

_ _ In his entire time with the gang, Bucky had never received a 911 text from the president. Everyone knew it was serious business that couldn’t be spoken about on the phone, which made the situation come across as far more serious. He ran through possible scenarios in his head about what could’ve happened, but he wouldn’t truly know until they sat down to hear it from Patriarchy himself._ _

_ _ By the time Bucky made it to the clubhouse everyone was tense. He lit up a cigarette as he joined Patriarchy and Wilson in the Church. Hulk and Hawk followed closely behind Widow and Thor closed the doors behind him._ _

_ _ “Hydra has expanded their reach,” Patriarchy started. “There’s a new charter in town called Red Skull who’ve been the cause behind our headaches recently. The reason our guns deal fell through, and why our business partners are suddenly uninterested in what we have. They’ve poached our clients and dropped the asking prices exponentially.”_ _

_ _ “How do we know it’s Hydra?” Widow asked. “Has Cap reached out?”_ _

_ _ “A man by the name of Johann Schmidt is on trial at the moment. He’s believed to be the president of the Red Skull charter. Cap thinks it’s fishy that Edward Baker has been found murdered when his daughter is on the prosecutor’s bench.”_ _

_ _ “Who is Edward Baker?” Thor asked._ _

_ _ Given that Thor had transferred from the Norwegian charter, no one blamed him for not knowing Baker. Baker had been like a dad to many children during the years. Bringing them lunch or helping them with homework, or being a shoulder to cry on if they needed it. He was a good man, and it was devastating news to hear he had been murdered._ _

_ _ “Local good samaritan,” Hulk explained simply. “What happened?”_ _

_ _ “Schmidt was looking at 20 years without parole,” Patriarchy continued. “Prosecution was coming down heavy. Red Skull presence is worrying the locals here, and now that Baker has been killed it’s going to send them into a panic. If his daughter really was on the prosecutor’s bench I don’t think it’s a coincidence that her father wound up dead.”_ _

_ _ “What’s our play?” Wilson asked. “Schmidt is still in police custody.”_ _

_ _ “Our play is the daughter, Eleanora,” Patriarchy replied._ _

_ _ “No,” Bucky interrupted. “We don’t involve civilians in club business.”_ _

_ _ “He’s right,” Widow agreed._ _

_ _ “She knows something that she isn’t telling law enforcement, either because she couldn’t trust them or because there’s nothing they could’ve done,” Patriarchy said. “We need to find out what she knows, and that means someone has to get close to her.”_ _

_ _ “Edward Baker was a good man,” Hulk said. “You really want to get his daughter messed up in a potential gang war?”_ _

_ _ Bucky remembered Eleanora from school. He always thought she was too good, too perfect, too beautiful. And he was right. She had a pure heart exactly like her father. She didn’t deserve to be messed up in the shit she’d already got herself into, and she certainly didn’t deserve to have another gang insert their presence in her life._ _

_ _ “If I’m right then she’s already messed up in a gang war, but we can protect her,” Patriarchy bellowed, causing for everyone to stay silent. “We’ll go to the funeral, make sure our presence is known, and offer our support to the girl. If we find an in we take it, are we clear?”_ _

_ _ Bucky sighed. “I’ll do it.” Everyone looked at him. “We went to school together. She knows me, hopefully she’ll trust me. I’ll do it.”_ _

_ _ Patriarchy nodded, hitting the gavel on the table to signify that the decision had been made. There’d be no further discussion regarding the club’s involvement in finding out who killed Edward Baker._ _

_ _ “Dismissed.” Everyone rose to leave the Chapel. Patriarchy caught Bucky’s eye. “Not you, Sergeant.”_ _

_ _ Bucky took his seat again. Widow closed the doors once everyone else had left, giving the two men some privacy._ _

_ _ “You’ve never fought me on a decision before.”_ _

_ _ “That’s because you’ve never wanted to involve a civilian in club business before,” Bucky replied. “I was late back this morning and delayed Church because of it. I’ll do my part.”_ _

_ _ “So long as it never happens again, right?” Patriarchy asked rhetorically. Bucky knew better than to talk back to him. “And what if it does, Sergeant? What will you do then?”_ _

_ _ Bucky sighed, taking a moment before he responded. “If you expect me to lie to her about why I’m hanging around you’re fucking joking. She can decide whether she wants our help or not, because I’m not using her to find out who killed her father. She’s been through enough already without us putting her further into harm’s way.” Bucky rose to his feet. “I don’t care if you don’t like how I plan on handling things, Matriarchy won’t like that you’re deliberately disobeying our rules. We have them for a reason. I suggest you take a refresher course on why they’re there.”_ _

_ _ “You’re treading on thin ice, Barnes,” Patriarchy warned the younger man. “I suggest you show results fast.”_ _

_ _ Bucky shouldered his way through the doors and made sure they slammed shut behind him. Anyone present in the clubhouse turned their attention towards him, wondering what Patriarchy had said to piss him off. Storming out of the clubhouse and starting his bike before anyone had the chance to follow him. Tearing out of the compound without a care for those around._ _

_ _ He pulled over just outside town when his phone began ringing. Kicking the stand down and turning the engine off so he could talk._ _

_ _ “You crossed a line with Patriarchy,” Matriarchy told him._ _

_ _ “I crossed a line? Do you know what he wants us to do?” Bucky asked, hopping off his bike so he could pace. Lighting up a cigarette and taking a long drag when Matriarchy was silent. “Do you know about the murder?”_ _

_ _ “What murder?” Matriarchy responded. Bucky sighed. “What fucking murder, Barnes?”_ _

_ _ “Edward Baker has been murdered. Patriarchy wants us to get close to his daughter, Eleanora. I fought him on his decision because we don’t fucking involve civilians, Denny.”_ _

_ _ “What do we know?” Matriarchy asked. “About the murder?”_ _

_ _ Bucky flicked the cigarette before raising it to his lips again. “Eleanora was working a case against Johann Schmidt. He’s the leader of the Red Skull charter that Hydra has started here in town,” Bucky informed her. “Cap thinks that’s the connection between his murder. Schmidt or some of his men possibly threatened her or her father over the trial and killed him because she couldn’t do what they wanted.”_ _

_ _ “Shit,” Matriarchy cursed. Bucky blew out some smoke and waited for her to continued speaking. “If we get involved it’s only going to make the Red Skulls retaliation much worse. Who’s he got trying to get close to her?”_ _

_ _ “Me.” A pregnant pause. “What do you want me to do? This would be so much easier if everyone knew it was you who was the President and not Patriarchy.”_ _

_ _ “He didn’t bring this information to me, Barnes,” Matriarchy reminded him. She cursed under her breath, and he flicked the cigarette to the ground. Stomping it out with the toe of his boot. “We can keep her safe, but only if she wants us around. Don’t lie to her. Let me handle Patriarchy.”_ _

_ _ “When should I try to make my move?” He asked. “Before or after the funeral?”_ _

_ _ Matriarchy hummed in thought. “Let her see you at the funeral. The two of you went to school together, right?”_ _

_ _ “Yeah, can’t vouch for whether or not she’ll appreciate me hanging around, though.”_ _

_ _ “You’ll be a familiar face, if anything,” Matriarchy said. “We’ll make our presence known at the funeral. Hopefully that’ll scare away any Red Skull scum, even if it fucks up the police’s plan to lure them out. I’ll bake something for you to take around, that way you have a reason to be at her house if any cops are there.”_ _

_ _ “What about Patriarchy?”_ _

_ _ “Just worry about the Baker girl. I’ll handle Patriarchy.”_ _

_ _+++_ _

_ _ It was no surprise to Bucky that the whole town had turned up to the funeral. He’d seen the crowd gathered outside the Church when he’d arrived with the rest of the club. Parking their bikes where they could before saying ‘hello’ to a few people they recognised._ _

_ _ Patriarchy had been intense, and Matriarchy had made him stay outside the Church with the rest of the gang while she and Bucky stood up the back of the Church. Behind all the pews and rows of people occupying them, in order to stay out of the way. It also gave Eleanora the chance to see him if she got up and talked, and hopefully he’d be able to go from there. If not, they’d figure something else out._ _

_ _ Bucky frowned slightly as Matriarchy elbowed him. He’d done the math and seen that only five men had stood up to carry the casket out of the Church, and it seemed like Matriarchy had an idea._ _

_ _ “Ask her if you can help carry it,” she whispered, jerking her head in the direction of Eleanora who was sitting in the front row. Bucky grunted softly but did as she requested, making his way up the centre aisle and crouching down just behind Eleanora._ _

_ _ “Hi, would you mind if I helped carry the casket out?” He asked politely._ _

_ _ She lifted her head to nod slightly, not making any eye contact and barely noticing who’d asked the question. He didn’t bother too much, just joining the men up front and taking place at the back. They all nodded his way in appreciation, faces grim as they took in his cut. Taking their places and holding a handle before raising the casket above their heads. Music playing as they slowly carried the casket out of the Church._ _

_ _ Bucky couldn’t vouch for anyone else, but he knew what a casket generally felt like with a body inside it. It was heavy, but he was expecting it to be heavier considering that Baker was supposedly inside the casket. It got him thinking that maybe this whole funeral was just for show, and if it was, where was Edward actually buried._ _

_ _ He made a note to keep his concerns to himself for a while, until he’d had the chance to speak to Eleanora properly. It seemed like there was a reason for it, and he wasn’t privy to the information yet._ _

_ _ Bucky shook hands with the men who’d also carried the casket before respectfully standing aside. It was blatantly clear they all knew who he was, and so he kept his distance despite his need for information. Now wasn’t the time or place. He’d remember to ask them questions later on if Eleanora didn’t want his help._ _


	3. 03

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which eleanor remembers her childhood best friend

_The bell rang to signal recess and Nora tidied her colouring pens away so she could leave._

_ She always took pride in her work and appearance. Even at the age of seven she was a meticulous neat freak. She hated getting her hands dirty during craft time, or having her belongings scattered around rather than in order. On the playground she never ran around because she was scared of falling over and ripping her tights or skinning her hands and knees._

_ Nora didn’t see it like she wasn’t having fun, she just liked to sit and observe. Watching her classmates playing tag, or skipping rope. Snacking on the food neatly packed away in her lunchbox, reading whatever book currently had her attention._

_ She enjoyed her breaks during school, because she could sit and be quiet and do what she wanted to do. She could stay out under one of the trees in the courtyard to read, or see her father in the school’s library. The possibilities were endless!_

_ Nora couldn’t understand why no one else believed she was having a good time. Her teacher confiscated her reading material and made her put a hat on so she could join the other kids on the playground. Really, she only wore the hat and stood beneath the platform that housed the slide so no one asked her to play hopscotch. She couldn’t think of anything worse._

_ On the days where it was raining she appreciated that they could stay inside. She could do her own thing and her teacher left her alone. But it was like she had a vendetta against the young girl and always made a point to address the class before recess and lunch. Insisting they let Nora play with them so she could make some friends._

_ A lot of the kids didn’t understand why she liked to sit and read rather than play, and they could be quite mean about it. Teasing her and calling her names. Stealing whatever she was reading and defecating it with water or food, or tearing out pages. Most of the times the books were borrowed from the library, so she’d come crying to her father apologising for the kid’s behaviour._

_ Today was just like any other day. Nora sat under the shade of one of the larger trees and finished her apple slices while she read the tales of The Faraway Tree. Every now and then she’d hold her place and look up at the familiar faces running around. Sometimes she’d wave at a couple of the girls from her class who she was friendly with, busy drawing with chalk on the pavement. Other times she simply kept her nose buried in her book._

_ For the kids that seemed to like reminding Nora she was a loner, they never left her alone. They spent their time poking fun at her. Drawing a crowd whenever they stole her book or her lunch. The crowd always egged them on, and by this point Nora was usually crying._

_ They came in heavy today. The book – her favourite book, – was ripped from her grasp by the biggest bully, Grant. He was the ringleader and usually instigated all of the bullying. Some days the other kids with him liked to show off, or prove their loyalty, and they’d start the daily teasing._

_ Nora never did anything to them. She just wanted to be left alone, and the book was just out of reach as she attempted to jump up and get it back. Grant grinned wickedly and waved it in her face. Taunting her._

_ She was frustrated and begged him to give it back, but it was futile. He never intended to get it back. And she started crying, which only ever made things worse._

_ “Cry baby,” he teased. Repeating himself a couple of times to get the crowd to start chanting along with him. When they were he smiled victoriously. “You want your book back, cry baby?”_

_ Nora nodded, wiping her tears from her face._

_ “What was that? I didn’t hear you?”_

_ “Give the book back, Grant.”_

_ Nora turned to look at the boy who spoke behind her. He was quiet, and kept mostly to himself, too. But for some reason he was never victim to Grant’s bullying, only Nora. He stepped forward, pushing a few of Grant’s friends away from Nora. The chanting died down._

_ “Stay out of this, James,” Grant told him._

_ “Give. Ellie. Her. Book. Back.” The boy, James, made sure to accentuate each word. Making it clear that he wasn’t messing around. “Now.”_

_ Grant looked down at the book in his hand. Hardcover, with a green sleeve. He waved it a bit before grabbing it with his other hand and attempting to swing it at James’ head. James was lucky enough to duck just in time, but it still clipped his shoulder. He spun back around and looked at Grant with hatred in his eyes, and the next thing Nora knew, Grant was on the ground with a blood nose._

_ He was crying because of the pain, and the kids all began laughing. The big, bad bully was crying and it was the funniest thing in the world. Soon the chant of ‘cry baby’ started up again, only this time it was directed at Grant._

_ Nora sympathised, and James watched curiously as she stepped forward with her hand extended to help Grant up. He was embarrassed and smacked her hand away, which only infuriated James more. He crouched down as threateningly as his eight year old self could muster, holding his fist up for effect._

_ “Leave Ellie alone,” he said._

_ “Teacher!”_

_ The group started to run away and James grabbed the book from the ground before turning around to give it back to Nora. Tears stained her cheeks and she hiccuped as she thanked him._

_ “He won’t bother you anymore,” James assured her. “If he does, just find me.”___

_ _+++_ _

_ _ Nora can’t understand why she decided to relive a memory of a kid bullying her in school, but it probably has something to do with Detective Hill’s line of questioning. She spaced out and tried to focus on something else, and unfortunately it was another time in her life she felt like shit._ _

_ _ “I can’t describe the person I saw,” Nora insisted, wrapping her robe tighter around her as she folded her arms. “It was dark, but I could see that it was a person. Isn’t it your job to figure out who I saw? Can’t you get some dogs out here to take a stiff of the fence, or whatever?”_ _

_ _ She was still trying to keep herself busy. There was a pile of laundry still in the basket, ready to be folded. She started folding as Hill peeked through the curtains._ _

_ _ “We’re doing everything we can, Eleanora,” Hill replied. “We don’t know why your father was targeted.”_ _

_ _ “I know, I know. It’s just frustrating.” She sighed and reached for a towel. Amanda had insisted on doing some washing earlier in the day, and she was glad for that. Even if there were some of her father’s shirts and pants amongst the towels. “I’m so tired I could have just seen a raccoon and spooked myself.”_ _

_ _ Hill agreed. “I’ll leave someone stationed outside tonight, just in case.”_ _

_ _ Nora didn’t disagree. She had to work with the police to some extent, even if she was planning on running her own investigation. She hadn’t told the police everything she knew. It was a stupid move, but she was in too deep to back out now._ _

_ _ “Thank you, Maria,” Nora said with a small smile._ _

_ _ “Are you alone tonight?”_ _

_ _ “Amanda’s just gone out to get pizza.” It wasn’t a lie, but she left out the part where she wasn’t staying the night. Hill accepted it with a nod._ _

_ _ “Mack will stay outside tonight. I’ll leave his number on the fridge if you need him, okay?”_ _

_ _ “Thank you.”_ _

_ _ Hill ducks into the kitchen on her way out, and Nora watches her speak to the officer outside. She makes sure to lock the door because she knows Amanda has her own key, and grabs her glass to top up her wine. She’d finished in some time after having her bath and waiting for the officer’s to arrive at the house after she’d made the call to 911. She needed the aid of alcohol to help her sleep tonight._ _

_ _ It had been a long day._ _

_ _ Nora sighed when she heard the lock click open. It had been about ten minutes since Hill left and she’d continued to fold the washing instead of sitting still. Her glass needed refilling, and despite being freshly washed, her father’s shirt still smelled like him. She’d dropped her robe to the floor and put the large flannel on over her pyjama top. Lifting the collar to her nose and inhaling the familiar cologne._ _

_ _ “Why the fuck is there a co–” Amanda’s voice trailed off as she walked further into the house, stopping in the living room doorway as she found Nora in her father’s top. “What happened?”_ _

_ _ “Thought I saw someone in the backyard.” She sniffed. “I think I’m just so tired I don’t know what I saw.”_ _

_ _ “Do you still want me to go tonight?”_ _

_ _ “I’ll be okay,” Nora assured her. “There’s a cop out the front and his number is on the fridge.”_ _

_ _ “Okay,” Amanda agreed, placing the pizza on the small coffee table and reaching into her purse for some different chocolate. Nora smiled when she saw it. “I’ll be around early in the morning. Call or text me if you need anything else.”_ _

_ _ Nora nodded and opened her arms for a hug. She couldn’t get enough of them recently. Wanting to hug everyone she knew whenever she saw them in case that was the last time._ _

_ _ “We have to return some dishes tomorrow,” Nora said. “There’s literally no space left in either of the fridges for anymore food.”_ _

_ _ “Sure thing,” Amanda agreed. “A walk around town will do you some good. Maybe we could go to Frannie’s for lunch, if you’re up for it?”_ _

_ _ “Breakfast instead? I’m feeling their blueberry pancakes and french toast.” To prove a point, Nora’s stomach growled and Amanda laughed as she pulled away. “I’ll stick to the pizza for now, but breakfast tomorrow, yeah?”_ _

_ _ “Deal,” Amanda said, kissing her cheek. “I know it’s hard, but please try and get some sleep tonight. Those circles under your eyes are getting darker every day and there’s only so much that makeup can hide.”_ _

_ _ Nora knew Amanda was actually concerned, which was why she passed it off as a joke. She sighed and gave a dejected nod. “That’s what the alcohol is for.”_ _

_ _ Amanda rubbed her hands up and down Nora’s arms comfortingly. “Take it easy, okay? I mean it.”_ _

_ _ “I will. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”_ _

_ _ Nora followed Amanda to the door to make sure it was locked behind her. Neither woman was counting on the huge biker with his fist raised, about to bang on the door just as it was opened._ _

_ _ “You know him?” Mack called out, his weapon drawn._ _

_ _ Nora’s mind flashed back to the memory she’d had earlier, of the kid who’d ‘saved’ her from Grant the bully. James, and here he was standing right in front of her on the doorstep._ _

_ _ “It’s okay,” Nora assured him. “He’s a friend.”_ _

_ _ Mack holstered his weapon and huffed, retreating back to his vehicle without another word. Amanda cast a wary glance at Nora. She knew the reputation this biker gang had around town._ _

_ _ “I’ll see you later,” Nora reiterated, kissing Amanda’s cheek. She sighed and squeezed past the man standing on the doorstep, waiting until she was out of earshot. “Are you a friend?”_ _

_ _ “Ouch, Ellie-cat, that hurts.”_ _

_ _ The nickname wakes something deep inside her and she gasps. “_Jamie._”___ _

_ _ _ _ “Yeah,” he said with a chuckle. “Been a while, huh?”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ His punishment for hitting Grant had been a two day suspension, but Nora had gone home and baked him some cupcakes to say thank you for what he’d done. Her father had helped, of course, and when he hadn’t been at school the next day her father had driven her around to his house so she could deliver them personally._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ After that day on the playground they formed a somewhat strange friendship. He’d sit with her every break and she’d read to him from the book that had brought them together. When he wasn’t there, he was close by, and never far away from stepping in to defend her whenever one of the other kids were particularly mean._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ It stayed like that through the rest of their schooling, though once the bullying stopped because the kids realised James would always be there, they soon left her alone. By the time they reached high school they had different lunch periods. Nora started making some new friends – friends who understood that she was introverted, but still liked her presence, and slowly she began to talk to them. Hanging out with them in their lunch period, and even on weekends._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ James had built himself a reputation protecting Ellie. He got into fights defending her, and got suspended frequently because of it. He missed having Ellie around, but he was happy that she’d finally made some good friends. They still talked a bit whenever they saw each other around the school, and although to everyone else they were known as Nora and Bucky, to each other they were known by Ellie and Jamie._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ Then one day he’d disappeared from school without a word, and Ellie had been confused. She’d gone to his house to see if he was there, and met with a man she knew was his father who’d vehemently denied ever knowing of his existence. At school, she’d tried to find his sister, who wouldn’t so much as acknowledge her presence, let alone answer any of her questions about her brother._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ Ellie was heartbroken, but now here he was. Her arms were around his neck in a millisecond, and he moved the dish out of the way. Wrapping his free arm around her and burying his nose into the top of head. She was beaming at him as she pulled away, and she realised it was the first time since her father died that she felt so happy._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ She wiped a tear from her eye and stepped aside. “Come in, please. I’m sorry for the ‘are you a friend?’ thing. It’s been a long day.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ Jamie gave her a smile. He walked further into the house and heard the door lock behind him. “It’s okay. I know.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ “Were you there?” She asked, leading him into the kitchen so she could figure out what to do with yet another dish of food._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ “I asked you if I could help carry the casket,” he said softly. He didn’t take it personally. There were a lot of people at the funeral, and it’d been a long time since they’d seen each other. His appearance had changed a lot._ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ “Oh,” she said, rubbing a hand over her face. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ “It’s okay,” he assured her, placing the dish on the counter before reaching for her. She let him take her hand and he ran his thumb over her knuckles. “I just wanted to help, whether you remembered me or not.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ “Thank you for being there,” she told him. “Today has been an emotional rollercoaster, of sorts. And now you’re here and I’m a bit overwhelmed. It’s been, what, 17 years since I last saw you? Now you’re wearing a patch, and an SaA badge, and you carried the casket out of the funeral?”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ He removed his hand and she immediately missed the contact. “What’s changed over 17 years that has you judging someone based on their appearance?” He asked her. “Your dad helped me out a lot as a kid, Nora. Stuff you don’t know about.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ She rubbed her hands over her face and let out a frustrated cry. “Don’t do that, okay? I’m sorry, just don’t call me Nora. That’s not you. That’s not us. I don’t know who’s on my side here, Jamie. I feel like I’m losing my mind.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ “I’m on your side, Ellie-cat. I’ve always been on your side.”_ _ _ _


	4. 04

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which he makes a quiche

There were whispers around the clubhouse but Bucky paid them no mind. He tried to focus on the chatter of the events in the city. Widow’s old prosecutor buddy had confirmed Cap’s link between Hydra and the Red Skulls. No one could prove that Schmidt was the president of the charter, but he had been linked to multiple crimes that the Red Skulls had been involved in.

The funeral had been larger than Bucky expected. He’d recognised almost everyone in attendance, bar a few people he assumed were plain-clothed officers. They’d kept a closer eye on Bucky and the rest of the gang than anyone else. Even though he understood why they were on their radar, it irked him more than he’d care to admit. They had just as much right to pay their respects as anyone else did, but because they wore a cut they were singled out.

Bucky was used to the stares and whispers that circulated whenever the club went somewhere. It was part of the territory. But he hated that a rumour had circulated that they’d had something to do with it. No, they weren’t the most upstanding citizens in the town, like Edward Baker had been, but they also didn’t upset the peace just for the sake of it. They kept to themselves and ran their own illicit businesses, and occasionally gave back to the community. They lived there, after all.

But they didn’t have anything to do with Baker’s murder. They’d prove it sooner or later.

Bucky was outside watching the prospect clean his bike. He nursed a bottle of beer while he sharpened his knife.

“Kid, give us a minute,” Matriarchy instructed. Bucky took a swig of his beer as he watched Parker leave the cloth over the handlebar. His eyes followed the kid as he walked away before turning to look at Matriarchy.

“What did Patriarchy say?”

Matriarchy grabbed the larger knife from the table and unsheathed it. She flipped it over in her hand. “I’m not getting anything from him,” she confessed. “Play your cards close to your chest for awhile. Report back to me if you get anywhere with the girl, or if you hear anything else about the hit on her father.”

“I’m going around later,” Bucky told her. “You mind helping me out and baking some kinda peace offering?”

Matriarchy sheathed the knife once again and placed it back on the table. “Yeah, give me a couple hours. Call in on your way.”

Bucky hated the secrecy, but he knew why Matriarchy kept a low profile. He wished she hadn’t married Patriarchy, because he was making things so much harder around the club. She had her reasons, he just hoped they weren’t getting played.

Once she’d left Bucky finished his beer and began tidying up his knife collection. His plan for the evening was to clean himself up a bit – he knew he looked rough, so a shower and a long overdue trim of his beard was is order. His knives were put back into their rightful places in his room and he locked to his bedroom behind him.

Personal grooming wasn’t high on his list of priorities usually. An unkempt beard made him look a lot more unapproachable, and that was the plan. His hair got washed once a week if he could bother, the long brown locks making him look like he was reinventing grunge. Today he shampooed and conditioned, and made sure all the dirt and grime was removed from under his fingernails.

He also didn’t want his hair to dry naturally and stringy like it usually did, so he turned up some music and utilised the hair dryer he kept in his bathroom. If anyone heard the hairdryer in use they’d never let him live it down, and he wasn’t a fan of being the butt of clubhouse jokes. The music should drown out the noise of the hairdryer, at least long enough for most of his hair to be dried, and then he’d be able to turn it down while he got dressed.

His bathroom was small, but it was enough for him. The clubhouse had been remodelled a few years back, giving everyone a bedroom and a small bathroom. Bucky had been staying in a seedy motel while the renovations took place, because unlike everyone else, he didn’t have his own place outside the club. Why would he want to pay rent for a place he’d barely stay at?

That’s what he told himself, at least. That, and he didn’t like being alone at night. Someone was always at the clubhouse, whether they were passed out drunk or found it easier to crash there than go back to their own place. He liked knowing someone was around.

He almost didn’t recognise himself with a fresh beard trim and clean hair. He liked his appearance for once, rather than using it to hide behind. Sliding his legs into a pair of clean, dark jeans, pairing it with his trusty combat boots and a crisp white tee. It was slightly smaller than the last time he’d worn it, but worn with his cut he didn’t mind at all.

He can’t remember the last time he put in this much effort with his clothes, at least he was telling himself they were just clothes. Truth was that he was nervous to see Eleanora again. They’d been friendly through school, up until he’d left without a single word or a goodbye, and he knew she’d asked his sister about him at school. He wasn’t sure she’d take kindly to seeing him on her front doorstep, let alone talk to him about whatever happened with her father.

With a sigh he pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind. Getting ready hadn’t taken nearly as long as he’d expected, so he decided to go around to Matriarchy’s place early to help her with the dish he wanted to take. He told Parker to let Patriarchy know he was out on business, and then he was gone.

It was like Matriarchy was expecting him early, because she hadn’t started cooking yet. Greeting him with a small smile as he let himself in.

“Wash your hands. You can start chopping some vegetables.”

Bucky did as he was told without question or protest. Matriarchy turned the oven on and started chopping some bacon and chorizo.

“What are we making?” He asked, knife gliding through a tree of cooked broccoli before he reached for another.

“Quiche,” she replied. “It’s an old family recipe.” Bucky nodded, grabbing a few beans from the pot and cutting them into quarters. They fell into silence. “How’s your mom doing?”

“I should’ve gone to see her earlier, but it’s so hard seeing her like that, y’know?” Matriarchy hummed. “Her nurses say she’s doing much better. She’s been going for small walks around the garden unassisted, and she likes doing crossword puzzles, so I took her a new puzzle book. She doesn’t really say much, but apparently she’s normally really chatty.” He shrugged. “I think I look too much like him.”

“I think the more you visit, the more she’ll appreciate seeing you. I know life gets busy, but try visiting once a week. Make it the same day, so she has something to look forward to. The more you try to open the lines of communication, the more likely it is that she’ll want to start talking again. It’s just going to take some time, Barnes.”

“Thanks, Denny.” He really appreciated her advice, after all, she was the only one who knew about his mom’s health. It helped having someone to talk to sometimes. “Vegetables are chopped, what next?”

Denny got him pressing the pastry into the mould before they whisked eggs, milk, cheese and seasonings together. He was instructed to sprinkle the cut meats and vegetables into the mould before she poured in the mixture. The timer was on for 40 minutes, and now all they had to do was wait.

Matriarchy prepared coffee for the pair of them. He didn’t object, instead choosing to sit on a barstool and flick through a magazine.

“You said you went to school with the girl? Eleanora?” Matriarchy asked.

Bucky hummed, closing the magazine and placing it back where it was. “I did.”

“That why you actually blow dried your hair?”

“Ha ha,” he said, running his hand through his hair subconsciously. “That obvious?”

Matriarchy shrugged. “Tell me about her.”

“No one else would tell her the truth until she’s got a gun pointed at her head,” he replied. “I want to help her, but I also want to keep her out of this shitstorm as much as possible. You telling me anyone else would prioritise safety over knowledge? We don’t involve civilians in club business. At least this way I can make sure she’s not in too deep.”

Matriarchy nodded as she slid a cup of coffee across the counter for him. She appreciated where he was coming from. “You’re sweet on her.”

He didn’t bother arguing, instead he got up and walked out of the kitchen. Matriarchy shook her head when she heard the old police scanner hum to life. She joined him in the living area, and both stilled when they heard the call over the radio.

“Dispatch requesting patrol cars to Edward Baker’s house. Daughter is calling about suspicious behaviour in the backyard.”

+++

Having a gun pointed at him was nothing out of the ordinary. Unfortunately for Bucky, this time the person holding the gun was a police officer stationed outside Eleanora’s house. He was unarmed, bar from the quiche he had in one hand, the other raised to knock on the door, and then he was face to face with Eleanor and her friend.

Now wasn’t the time, but the situation was laughable.

Fortunately, Eleanora was quick to dismiss the officer, telling him he was ‘a friend’ and his heart started hammering in his chest. It had been years since he’d last seen her. Easily ten, though he knew it was a lot more. She looked tired. There were dark circles under her eyes and a robe wrapped around her body. It was fluffy and completely engulfed her frame.

Her features were a lot sharper, more defined. She’d done a lot of growing up since leaving town, and he knew he looked a lot different too. Her eyes didn’t register any familiarity, though, and it made his stomach sink. Maybe his untimely departure had been harder on her than he’d anticipated.

With the cop gone, and her friend making her own exit, Eleanora turned to Bucky. “Are you a friend?”

“Ouch, Ellie-cat, that hurts.”

The nickname fell past his lips before he could stop it, and her eyes widened in realisation. “Jamie.” She gasped.

“Yeah.” He chuckled. “Been a while, huh?”

She wiped a tear from her eye and stepped aside. “Come in, please. I’m sorry for the ‘are you a friend?’ thing. It’s been a long day.”

Bucky gave her a smile. He walked further into the house and heard the door lock behind him. “It’s okay. I know.”

“Were you there?” She asked, leading him into the kitchen.

“I asked you if I could help carry the casket,” he said softly. He didn’t take it personally. There were a lot of people at the funeral, and it’d been a long time since they’d seen each other.

“Oh,” she said, rubbing a hand over her face. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.”

“It’s okay,” he assured her, placing the dish on the counter before reaching for her. She let him take her hand and he ran his thumb over her knuckles. “I just wanted to help, whether you remembered me or not.”

“Thank you for being there,” she told him. “Today has been an emotional rollercoaster, of sorts. And now you’re here and I’m a bit overwhelmed. It’s been, what, 17 years since I last saw you? Now you’re wearing a patch, and an SaA badge, and you carried the casket out of the funeral?”

He removed his hand, a little pissed by the assumption. “What’s changed over 17 years that has you judging someone based on their appearance?” He asked her. “Your dad helped me out a lot as a kid, Nora. Stuff you don’t know about.”

She rubbed her hands over her face and let out a frustrated cry. His heart ached to see her like this. So beaten down and exhausted. “Don’t do that, okay? I’m sorry, just don’t call me Nora. That’s not you. That’s not us. I don’t know who’s on my side here, Jamie. I feel like I’m losing my mind.”

“I’m on your side, Ellie-cat. I’ve always been on your side.”

She let out a ragged breath. “It’s been so long, Jamie. How are you?”

He sympathised. She’d been through so much, and if the Red Skulls had anything to do with her father’s murder then showing up in his own cut definitely would’ve been a trigger for her. He slipped the vest off and hung it over a chair. He never took his cut off outside the clubhouse, so to do so was a sign of respect. He swore she visibly relaxed in front of him.

“You don’t have to worry about me, Ellie. But I’m okay. Suppose I just wanted to make sure you were, as well.”

“Everyday I ask myself, ‘why him?’ and I’m no further to finding out why. The police have no leads, and I’m so jumpy that I assume a raccoon in my backyard is a person.” She tried to brush off her paranoia with a laugh, but she sounded so defeated. He reached out and took her hand, but she fell into his arms, seeking the comfort. He embraced her warmly, wrapping his arms around her protectively. “I miss his so much, Jamie. I keep waiting for him to text me goodnight like he always did, or walk through the front door. But he’s ever going to do that again.”

Bucky didn’t know what to say. He never knew what to say to someone who’d lost a loved one, especially when they actually loved them. Instead, he let Ellie cry to him, rubbing her back and pressing a kiss to the top of her head. It was the best he could do. He just hoped it was enough.


	5. 05

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which they get coffee

Nora woke up the next morning feeling refreshed. She can’t remember the last time she’d actually managed to sleep through the night, but she guesses it had something to do with seeing Jamie again.

He hadn’t stayed long, just long enough for her emotions to get the better of her. Leaving a wet patch on his shirt from her crying, but he hadn’t cared. She deserved being able to cry without remorse. She had a lot going on, and he wanted to let her know he was there for her if she needed an old friend.

He’d given her his number, and she made sure to text him once he’d left. Thanking him for the quiche, which she hadn’t done in person, and he’d replied with a simple smiley face. She’d fallen asleep with her phone in her hand and a heavy heart as his next text came through.

_I know this isn’t the same thing but you’re allowed to pretend that it is. Goodnight, Ellie-cat. It was so good to see you, I hope we can get together for coffee sometime soon so we can have a proper catch-up. Your Jamie xx___

_ _ She got ready for the day before joining Amanda downstairs. She found her in the kitchen washing and drying certain dishes to give back to their owners. Some of the meals had been delicious, so Nora had frozen them for later. Others she’d thrown out straight away, but made sure she’d lie and tell everyone they were delicious. Because despite everything she didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. She never wanted to hurt anyone’s feelings._ _

_ _ They stopped for breakfast at Frannie’s, and Nora knew once they’d been served that Amanda would ask about her friend from last night. She excused herself to the bathroom before Amanda got the chance to bombard her with questions. It was only a few minutes of solace, but she realised she couldn’t use the excuse later in the conversation if she wanted to avoid a certain question. With a sigh, she reemerged from the bathroom and found her seat, taking a sip of her coffee._ _

_ _ “He was at the funeral, wasn’t he?” Nora nodded. Amanda watched her stuff her face with pancake to avoid speaking. “He’s hot. You at least get his number?”_ _

_ _ Nora coughed to clear her throat, having inhaled a piece of pancake out of shock. She washed her mouthful down with some water._ _

_ _ “He was my first ever friend at school,” Nora revealed. She’d told Amanda about him briefly, but never gone into detail about his looks or why they lost touch. Nora didn’t even know herself why they lost touch. “I didn’t even recognise him.”_ _

_ _ Amanda didn’t want to push her luck. She’d tried teasing Nora for some gossip, because that usually worked, but she had to want to open up on her own terms. Explaining that the man last night was a friend she hadn’t seen in years was more than Amanda ever hoped to know._ _

_ _ Nora sighed and set her knife and fork on her plate before leaning back in her chair. “The kids used to bully me at school because I was so introverted, and would rather read a book than play jump rope. But not James. He stuck up for me, and the kids never bothered me again because he was always there. With me. And then one day in senior year he was gone. I didn’t know what to think, I just knew I had to get away. For all the bullies, and the bad memories, and start somewhere new. I forgot about him. I can’t believe I forgot about him.”_ _

_ _ Amanda urged Nora to keep eating. When she’d come by in the morning only two slices of pizza had been eaten, and she was sure at least half of the second piece ended up in the trash. She was still trying to take care of her friend as much as she let her._ _

_ _ To appease Amanda, Nora cut herself a piece of pancake and smothered it in syrup before eating it. Making a start on another piece before continuing the conversation._ _

_ _ “I made some shit friends after he left. Even when he was there, there were some girls at school who befriended me, but after we all moved away for college they wanted nothing to do with me. I was all alone again, and I almost cut myself off from everyone for good. Then you barged into my life like a bull in a China shop and haven’t left yet.”_ _

_ _ “And I’m not going to,” Amanda assured her. She reached across the table and placed her hand over Nora’s. “Did he only come back for your dad’s funeral?”_ _

_ _ “I don’t know,” she replied. “He’s patched in for the Howlies as their Sergeant at Arms. I think he’s been back for a while, but I haven’t.”_ _

_ _ Amanda’s concern grew for her friend. “Didn’t the police say they think a gang was behind your father’s murder?”_ _

_ _ Nora nodded her head. She hadn’t been entirely truthful to the police or her friend. She wasn’t sure she wanted to start now. “If they thought it was someone from the Howling Commandos they would have bought them all in for questioning. And they certainly wouldn’t have let them come to the funeral.”_ _

_ _ Amanda nodded. She didn’t really know anything of Nora’s hometown other than what she occasionally mentioned in passing. This was the most she’d learnt in the almost decade of friendship, and she wasn’t about to ridicule a former friend just because of who he chose to associate with. She wanted Nora to be careful, but know that she could always speak to her if she needed to._ _

_ _ “I’m not going to just blindly trust him again. He hurt me leaving the way he did,” Nora confessed. “I do want to talk, I guess. Give him a chance to explain why he left. I didn’t really feel like I had the mental capacity to ask last night, but it’s something I do want to know.”_ _

_ _ “That’s good,” Amanda replied. “Good you want to talk. You deserve answers. I just want you to be careful, okay? If you trust him then so do I, but if he hurts you again you bet your ass I’ll go all Mama Bear on him.”_ _

_ _ Nora managed a small laugh. She didn’t think it was necessary for Amanda to be protective, but she appreciated it nonetheless._ _

_ _+++_ _

_ _ Nora gave Amanda a big hug. She hadn’t expected her best friend to put her life on hold when she found out about her father’s murder, but she had. And there was no way she could ever repay her, other than putting on a brave face and assuring she’d call if she needed anything else._ _

_ _ With a week off to help with the funeral, Amanda had to go back to work. She was still worried about Nora, but she knew she was doing a lot better than she had been when she first found out. Still, she was worried. Making sure Nora knew to call her if she needed anything, or just to talk shit to get her mind off things momentarily. Amanda had to get back to her life. Nora’s was on hold for a little while longer, wanting to stay in town to start her own investigation._ _

_ _ In town, everyone who saw Nora wanted five seconds to speak with her. Some of them she’d seen the prior day while she and Amanda returned their cooking dishes, others she’d seen at the funeral but hadn’t spoken to. Now they wanted to say their piece, express their condolences and offer their support if she needed anything. Without sounding rude, she couldn’t ask them to leave her alone. Only managing to express that she needed some time to grieve privately, and that she wasn’t quite ready to talk to so many people about the same thing – her father._ _

_ _ Luckily for her, the people understood that she was quiet, kept to herself, and that she doesn't often seek conversation. They’d say what they needed to, and she’d respond kindly, but excuse herself before her emotions got the better of her. Manage to calm herself down, and then it’d start all over again with someone else._ _

_ _ Fortunately, James recognised the overwhelmed expression on her face, even if he was on the other side of the road. Excusing himself from business with Widow to play hero like he used to back in school, and asking Nora if she had a minute._ _

_ _ The situation was so familiar to her it was almost nostalgic. She thanked who she was with and walked away with James until they were alone._ _

_ _ “Even after 17 years you still need to be rescued, huh?”_ _

_ _ It was supposed to be friendly teasing, but Nora’s smile came across as more of a grimace. “I literally couldn’t give a fuck if they were sorry for my loss.” She couldn’t stop the words before they were tumbling out of her mouth. “I just want them to leave me the fuck alone for once. I have shit to do, and if they keep stopping me every five metres I won’t get my errands done before the shops close.”_ _

_ _ “I don’t know if you remember, but my presence usually means people leave you the fuck alone,” he reminded her, and this time her smile was genuine._ _

_ _ “I remember,” she assured him, running a hand through her hair. “Thank you, Jamie.”_ _

_ _ He smiled and she noticed he no longer had a snaggle tooth. Her heart panged – she missed it. “Of course. You said you’ve got some errands to run. If you need my presence to keep people away from you, Ellie-cat, I’m yours for the afternoon.”_ _

_ _ “You really have nothing better to do than run pointless errands with me?” She asked incredulously._ _

_ _ Part of her wanted him to join her, if only so they could talk and she could get her answers about why he left. The other part knew about the biker connection to her father’s murder. She didn’t know James like she used to, and as much as she’d assured Amanda that the Howlies weren’t behind her father’s murder, she wasn’t so sure all of a sudden._ _

_ _ “Being in your company isn’t pointless,” he charmed. Nora hesitated with agreeing. “You’re not going to hurt my feelings if you turn me down.”_ _

_ _ “I have one condition,” she bartered. He waited for her to continue. “You tell me why you left during senior year without so much as a goodbye.”_ _

_ _ Bucky silently agreed. He hadn’t been expecting that, even if he knew he owed her answers. Stuck in his head, he watched her start walking into the craft store._ _

_ _ “You coming or what, Barnes?”_ _

_ _ _Barnes_. That stung more than he cared to admit. Feet carrying him forward, following her into the store and falling into step behind her._ _

_ _ “What are we looking for in here?”_ _

_ _ Nora wasn’t sure she wanted to tell him anything just yet. “A whiteboard, some markers. Want to make something for my dad and leave it at his gravesite for when people come to visit.”_ _

_ _ He hummed, following her around. He wasn’t sure she was telling him the truth, but he wasn’t in a place to dispute it. And he knew he was on thin ice. She was still baring the heartache of his disappearance from almost two decades ago. The ball was in her court, hypothetically. If she wanted to lie to him, that was her decision. After all, he was lying to her._ _

_ _ Bucky held the whiteboard for Nora. It was the least he could do. She handed him some markers next, and she kept ahold of a moleskin journal. Maybe she was actually going to make something to leave at her father’s gravesite. Maybe he just assumed she was lying because he was._ _

_ _ Nora led him to the counter so she could pay for her things. She knew the cashier, but no pointless conversation was made as the man’s gaze kept flicking over her shoulder to James. Nora thanked the man with a smile before handing the whiteboard back to James to carry before leading him outside._ _

_ _ “My car’s just back down here,” Nora said._ _

_ _ People moved for them as they walked down the street. People who’d usually stop and talk to Nora simply smiled and ducked their heads, acknowledging their presence silently. She realised they actually feared James, but she wasn’t ready to start that conversation just yet._ _

_ _ She unlocked her car and placed her things inside. Closing the door and hitting the button on her keyfob to lock the door as she walked across the road. Ducking into the little boutique bakery and coffee shop to order a sandwich and a drink._ _

_ _ James added to her order, and handed over some money to cover it. He was aware she huffed and headed back outside to sit in the sun, and gave her a minute before he joined her. In the past when she was expecting news, she’d start to shut down a bit. Distance herself so she didn’t get hurt. James knew the routine, which was why he let her have some time alone. Stuffing a few dollars in the tip jar and grabbing some water before finally joining her outside._ _

_ _ “I’m sorry I hurt you by leaving,” he apologised, watching her pour herself a cup of water just for something to do. “I enrolled in the Army. School became too expensive for my parents, and they were going to make Rebecca get a job to help pay for bills. I dropped out, finished my schooling in the Army, and sent back any money I made.”_ _

_ _ “Why didn’t you tell me any of this?”_ _

_ _ “I was ashamed, I guess. I know I should have at least said goodbye, but I was a coward. I knew if you got upset over me leaving I would change my mind. I thought you would be fine without me.”_ _

_ _ “I asked around about you. Your sister told me to stop asking questions, and your dad outright told me he doesn’t have a son called James, or Bucky, or whoever. None of it made any sense. You completely dropped off the face of the Earth and no one wanted to talk about you. It was like you didn’t exist anymore,” she confessed. “Why’d it take my dad dying for you to pop back into my life again? You knew where I lived. You could’ve gone old school and wrote me a letter. My dad would have forwarded them on.”_ _

_ _ “I thought you deserved better friends than just me. Look at me now, hm. I know you’ve noticed that people are afraid of me.”_ _

_ _ “So what? You’re in a big, scary biker gang? Big whoop, honey,” she scoffed, but he couldn’t get past the fact that she’d called him honey. “There are people a lot bigger, badder, and uglier than you in the world. I call you Jamie for crying out loud. You really think I’m ever going to see you as someone other than the boy who broke Grant Ward’s nose for me?”_ _

_ _ He’s quiet as their coffees are bought out and placed in front of them. She thanked their waitress with a smile._ _

_ _ “Who do you know who’s worse than me?” He questions softly. He wasn’t sure if she’d accidentally revealed something she shouldn’t have, but he wanted an answer if she was willing to give it to him._ _

_ _ “Johann Schmidt.”_ _


	6. 06

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which there's bloodshed

Bucky felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up.

“How do you know who Johann Schmidt is?”

Bucky leant forward on the table. Ellie leant back, her arms folded over her chest. It was a defensive stance, and Bucky reached for her hand.

“Ellie, he’s a very, very bad man. How do you know that name?”

She blew out a breath and gave his hand a squeeze. “I’m studying to be a lawyer. Teaching just wasn’t doing it for me, so I decided to try something new. Step out of my comfort zone. That’s a huge step for me. Anyway, I landed this case. I’m basically just sitting behind the lawyers who do the actual work, just to see how things get done. It’s the Schmidt case.”

“Okay,” he said. Cap’s information had been correct, but he was playing that close to his chest. He let Ellie open up to him, rather than tell her he had his suspicions. Wanting to see how much she’d tell him before she shut down.

“You’re right about him being a bad man, Jamie,” she said. “The things I had to listen to. The torture? The murders? His face haunts my dreams. I can’t close my eyes without seeing his face. He’s terrifying.”

“He is,” he agreed, rubbing his thumb over her knuckles.

“How do you know him? Can you tell me or is that super secret club business?”

Bucky let out a soft chuckle. “We think he runs the Red Skull charter here in town. They’re new, but cause headaches for us and the local law enforcement. Your friend from the funeral, Officer Hill, thinks bikers are behind your father’s murder. Pulled Patriarchy in for questioning, and he said the only reason we’re not the primary suspects is because of the brutality.”

Ellie squeezed her eyes shut.

“There’s no easy way to sugar coat it, Ellie-cat. I’m sorry,” he apologised. “I need you to know that we had nothing to do with it, okay? Your dad helped so many of us when we were younger. He was like a dad to all of us. We loved him, too.”

“No, I know.” She sniffed back her tears. “I know you didn’t have anything to do with it.”

She pulled her hand back and he silently cursed himself. She was shutting down, but she knew something. She was deliberately keeping it from him.

“I’m telling you this because you deserve to know the truth,” he continued, balling his hand into a fist and tucking it under his arm. “If you know something...something that you’re not telling the police because you’re scared, or whatever the reason is, we can help you, Eleanora. But only if you talk to me.”

“That explains it then. Why you’re suddenly back in my life after 17 years,” she said. “My dad was murdered, James. I need a friend, not whatever this is.” She waved her hand between them. “You lost the privilege of knowing me a long time ago. I need to go.”

“I’m sorry if I crossed a line, Ellie,” he told her as she grabbed her things. “I’m still your Jamie. I’m still here if you need me.”

“I haven’t needed you for a long time, James.”

He finished the last of his coffee before left. Letting Ellie walk away was hard. He wanted to chase after her and try to explain better, but right now that wasn’t what she needed. He’d been honest with her, which he knew she would appreciate given the circumstances. He couldn’t imagine whatever she was caught up in involved much truth. She’d appreciate his honesty in time, when something happened that caused her to realise he was now in this shitstorm as well. He just wanted to keep her safe.

That was all he ever wanted.

Widow was waiting for him by their bikes when he finally made his way back. She wasted no time kicking her bike to life.

“Judging from the way your little friend left that cafe, you better have made some progress or Patriarchy will be on your ass,” she told him. “We’ve been called back. Let’s go.”

She peeled off down the street without waiting for him. Bucky turned the opposite direction. Hearing more bikes in the distance, and trying to determine if they were friendlies or not. Wheeling his bike off the street and down the alley, behind a dumpster. Standing at the entrance of the alley, he watched the bikes come into view. There were only a few of them, but it was enough. They wore red balaclavas and brandished machine guns. Shooting up the shops along the main strip as they tore through.

Bucky rushed out with his own weapon drawn. Aiming for a few of the bikes, to take them out and cause them to crash. He hit one in the leg, and another crashed into a power pole at some speed. 

No one paid the fallen man any mind. Continuing to speed through and shoot up.

Bucky had heard the terror in the civilians screams before, when he had been deployed. He faltered in his step as he attempted to run towards the fallen Red Skull. Grabbing out for something, but finding his fist close around air as he dropped to his knee. Taking a few breaths as he looked around at the chaos he was in the midst of.

Civilians had been shot in the crossfire. Shop windows were shattered, and the pang of metal hit his nostrils. He turned to his right and found Al, who owned the dry cleaner on the strip, collapsed next to him. He was unmoving, his eyes staring into nothing, his body riddled with bullet holes and blood soaking his clothes.

Bucky reached out for him and closed his eyes.

Slowly he came back. The chaos was similar to the war he fought in, but different in many ways. He rose to his feet, weapon drawn as he beelined for the Red Skull pinned between his bike and the half smashed power pole. He heard sirens in the distance but his immediate attention was on the semi-conscious gang member.

He kicked the weapon away from him before he crouched down and ripped the balaclava from his head. The man opened his eyes and looked at Bucky through his blurry vision.

“You should check on your precious club. Chances are your men are worse off than I am.”

Bucky didn’t see the knife in the man’s hand. He brought it up in a fluid motion, the blade piercing his throat as he slashed the skin open.

Bucky dropped the balaclava over his face, turning around and tucking his gun back into his pants. Running over to the girl in the street who was also collateral damage. Covering her face with her scarf and jogged up the street to check on people still screaming. He helped a mom with a young kid, the kid who was bleeding from his stomach and had blood coming from his mouth.

He grabbed the jacket from under the kid’s head. Using it to apply pressure to his stomach.

“Mom, what’s your name?” Bucky asked.

“Shirley.”

“Shirley, I need you to hold you hands like this, okay?” He told her, grabbing her hands and applying pressure again. “Help is on the way.”

There was a man who used his own shirt to make small tourniquets for a woman who’d been shot in the arm, and another in the leg. The man himself had a bullet lodged in his shoulder. Bucky helped him tie the tourniquet around his shoulder and grabbed a few napkins from the dispenser. Tucking them under both sides of material, holding them against his skin.

“It’s through and through,” Bucky told him.

“Still hurts like a bitch,” the man responded.

“Sit down and help people apply pressure. Make a chain,” Bucky instructed, moving some furniture before telling a few other people to move if they could. “It will hurt holding pressure to your own wounds. Help each other out. Come on, guys.”

When he was happy that everyone was listening to him, he left the guy with the through and through wound in charge. Telling him to keep everyone talking until they got checked out. He ran to flag someone down.

The kid wasn’t doing so well, but he knew there were far too many other people in the same situation.

For the second time in as many days, Officer Mackenzie pulled his gun on Bucky and made him surrender. He did as he was told.

“I have a gun in the waistband of my jeans, and have a permit in my wallet. I shot three rounds into the bikes, and a leg, of the Red Skulls who drove through,” Bucky said. “If you want me to say anything else, I’m going to need my lawyer present.”

“What happened?” Detective Hill asked him while Mack took his gun and put cuffs on him. He complied. He was being arrested for unlawful use of a firearm. That, and his hands were covered in blood. For all they knew, he had something to do with someone’s death, not the prevention of it.

“Get me my lawyer and I’ll talk, Maria. You know the drill,” Bucky replied.

“I’ll drop the charges. There’s too many witnesses and victims here, Barnes. Start talking,” she told him.

He sighed. He knew better than to trust a cop.

The hair on the back of his neck prickled as the call came through the radio. There’d been an explosion at the Howlies clubhouse. Parker seemed to be the informant, and so far there were two dead that he knew about. Kid sounded terrified.

“Five or six Red Skulls all in balaclavas. Drove through and shot the place up. I got off a few rounds. Shot out the bike of the dead Skull over there, and hit another in the leg,” Bucky told her. “Now get me out of these damned cuffs.”

Hill nodded at Mack who complied with a sigh. “I’m keeping your gun. Need to run ballistics to prove what you said is true.”

“Whatever,” Bucky said. “Is anyone responding to the clubhouse explosion?”

“We’re a team of five officers, Barnes,” Hill told him. “I’ve got to call the troopers in. When I do that there’s no more of this, you hear me?”

“Call the hospital,” he replied. “They’re about to be up to their armpits in gunshot victims.”

He stalked off, rubbing his wrists. His hands were stained red, but there was nothing he could do about it at this point in time. Heading down the alley for his bike and peeling out without a care for who was around. Weaving through the bodies on the street to get to the clubhouse. Calling Matriarchy as he did so.

“What now?”

“Red Skulls shot up main street and I think they’re behind the explosion at the clubhouse,” he told her. “Where are you?”

“On my way. You down main?”

“Shot one of ‘em in the leg. Got another’s bike and he put a blade to his throat so cops couldn’t take him,” Bucky revealed. “On my way to the clubhouse now. Parker called it in. At least two dead. Troopers are being called in, so if we’re cleaning up we gotta do it fast. I’ll see you soon.”

He tucked his phone into his pocket and revved the bike. Crossing the centre line to pass cars and get to the clubhouse faster.

The smoke in the sky was like a beacon. Bucky hated it. Pulling into the clubhouse drive and seeing just how bad the destruction was. The main house was still in tact, but there was a bike driven in through the glass door on the side. Most likely Red Skull owned.

He kicked the stand down for his bike and swung his leg over. Walking towards Patriarchy.

“Where the hell were you? Widow said you were following,” he said.

“Once she left some Skulls rolled through main street,” Bucky replied. “They shot up and killed a bunch of civilians. I got caught in the crossfire. Managed to get off a few shots of my own, but the cops have my gun. There’s a dead Skull down main, and I slugged another in the leg. But by all means, assume I’m behind this. I know you do.”

Patriarchy handed the note to Bucky. “The Red Skulls know we’re trying to get close to the Baker girl,” Patriarchy told him. “Said there’d be more casualties unless we back off.”

The note confirmed what Patriarchy said. It was addressed from someone named ‘Sitwell’ and Bucky blew out a breath.

“If they came for us they might go for her,” Bucky said. “I have to go. Matriarchy is on her way.”

“The twins are dead, Barnes. Wanda and Pietro. They were in town for Barton’s baby shower this weekend. I’m going to reach out to their president. Arrange their funerals. I’m not sparing anyone to babysit this girl. We’re going on lockdown.”

“Have fun with that,” Bucky told him, tucking the note into his pocket. “I’m babysitting the girl.”

“You’re safer here.”

Bucky laughed. “There was just a hit on the club. Two of our own are dead. Yeah, they’re from a different charter, but they’re ours. You tell them they were safe here before they got blown to shit? I’m going.”

He had to show Ellie the note. He had to tell her about what just happened in town, and at the clubhouse. If they were willing to do that to random civilians, and a rival gang, there’s no saying what they’d be willing to do to her. He needed to make sure she was safe, even if he was the last person she wanted to see right now.

The situation she was in was getting bigger and bigger. He needed her to talk to him. But she had to make that decision by herself. All he could do was keep telling her the truth.

Bucky crossed paths with Matriarchy before he left. She parked her car in the driveway. He walked up to her car as she got out.

“Maximoff twins are dead,” Bucky told her. “Your husband wants to put us on lockdown. I think you should consider telling everyone you’re in charge, not your fucking husband. He got us involved, now we’re being threatened and killed.”

“I’ll fix this,” she assured him.

“Red Skulls know we’re involved. Gave us a note,” he said. “Patriarchy won’t spare anyone to babysit so I’m going alone.”

“Cops have your gun,” she reminded him.

“Better if I don’t have one at the moment,” he replied. “I’m on the cops radar, and if I’m caught with a gun without proper licensing I’m done. I’ll be right.”

Matriarchy nodded. He walked back to his bike, wheeling it past the car before starting it up. Throwing his leg over and settling down before revving the engine and tearing out of the drive.

It was a short trip to the Baker house. The houses growing more spaced out and residential. Looking more like homes, with family cars out the front or kids toys in the yard. Bucky’s bike was out of place in the driveway, and Ellie was in the doorway watching him. Arms folded over her chest as he stalked up the steps, digging into his pocket for the note.

“I know you don’t trust me, and won’t tell me what’s going on, but the Red Skulls did a drive by on main just after you left and hit the club. People are dying because you aren’t talking. People will keep dying until they’re stopped. Let me help, Ellie. Talk to me, please.”

She took the note from him and read it. Her next breath was shaky as she stepped to the side, letting Bucky come inside. She had to tell someone something.


	7. 07

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which she finally talks

Ellie kept herself busy. Bucky sat himself on a stool at the breakfast bar, watching her flit around the kitchen. She was always a fidgeter, and a worrier, so when the two clashed he knew better than to make her sit down.

In the kitchen, she finished washing some dishes. The sink had been filled with hot, soapy water. Bucky had offered to help her dry them, but she told him she’d let them drip dry in the rack. Both of them knew it was a lie – she’d dry them herself. Just for the extra job to do.

“What happened on main street?” Ellie asked, dunking a plate under the water. She grabbed the sponge to clean off any food residue.

“About ten minutes after you left I caught up with Wid–Natasha,” he started.

He didn’t know what to do with his hands. He tried placing one on top of the other. He tried interlocking his fingers. His own anxieties about what kind of mess Ellie was in bubbled to the surface, and had him picking at his nails. Pushing back the cuticles and making sure there was no dirt beneath them.

“She said we’d been called back to the clubhouse for some emergency,” he continued. “She sped off, and I was about to follow when I heard more bikes. Half a dozen, at least. I threw caution to the wind and hid my bike down an alley. Men from the Red Skull charter of Hydra came through brandishing machine guns. Took out at least a dozen people. After they blew through I was talking to the cops and a call came in. There was an explosion at our clubhouse.”

“O-oh.”

“You remember the Maximoff twins who transferred into our school during sophomore year?” Bucky asked, looking up from his fingers and taking her in. She was scrubbing furiously at a plate which was spotless. “They were back in town. They were killed by the explosion.”

“There’s nothing I can do,” Ellie said, standing the dish in the rack and washing a coffee cup. “I told them I have no pull in the courtroom.”

“Who’d you tell, baby?” He asked softly. “Do you know their name?”

She shook her head vigorously. She was so angry. Hot tears spilled down her cheeks and she grit her teeth. She wanted to scream. To lash out and hit something. And suddenly the cup in her hands was launched across the room. Connecting with the wall and shattering on impact.

“I should have taken them seriously,” she said. “I should have–I should–”

Bucky shot to his feet. He’d seen her fit of rage coming from a mile away, and had made sure he’d moved as she spun around. Before she’d thrown the cup and it hit him instead of the wall.

He walked around to her, where she’d slid down against the cupboards beneath the sink and drawn her legs up into her chest. She was seeking comfort. She choked out a sob as he sat beside her and pulled her into his lap.

“This was never meant to happen,” she wailed. His heart broke for her. He swallowed the lump in his throat. “None of it was ever supposed to happen.”

“It’s not your fault, baby,” he assured her, kissing the top of her head. She moved slightly so she could hug him properly. Straddling his lap, arms low around his waist and face buried in his shirt. “C’mon now.” He rubbed her back soothingly, shushing her softly.

He felt like this was the first time she’d truly let herself be consumed by the grief of it all. The court case and everything that happened between it and her father’s murder. All of the collateral damage since then. She hadn’t told a single soul, and he was positive it was because they’d made a threat. That more people would die if she talked to the cops or anyone else. And judging by the hell they’d unleashed in the last half hour, Bucky was positive they thought she’d talked. They were trying to petrify her back into submission.

And he was scared to say it was working. She’d started to open up, but it was vague. Alluding to some kind of conversation or threat, but never actually acknowledging it. Never openly confessing what had truly happened.

“I’m sorry, Jamie,” she apologised profusely. “I’m so sorry. For what happened to the twins. For everything. I’m just–why is this happening to me?”

“You don’t have to apologise to me,” he told her, pulling back to wipe some hair from her face. He used his thumbs to rid her cheeks of the tears that stained them. “We can make it right, though. You just gotta talk to me, sweetheart, okay? What happened?”

They moved from the kitchen floor to the living room. Ellie sat alone on the single seater couch, and she’d done that deliberately. She couldn’t bring herself to tell him the truth if she wound up sitting in his lap again. So they’d moved, and she’d poured herself a glass of wine to help her get through the recounting of events.

Bucky bought the bottle in. If it helped, great. But he didn’t want her to get distracted by needing a refill, so he eliminated the possibility. Setting the bottle on the coffee table and sitting on the couch closest to the one she was on. Close, but not touching.

“I got my law degree last year.”

So she was starting from the very beginning. Bucky made himself a bit more comfortable. Resting his left ankle over his right knee and reclining in the cushions a bit more.

“Being a teacher wasn’t doing it for me anymore. I needed something new and exciting, and I went out on a whim and enrolled in some night classes. Eventually I went back to college to become a lawyer, and last year I graduated. I’m a paralegal at this big firm in the city, and I got tasked with doing all the research for this case. I’m on the team for this Schmidt case and it’s a lot. Been going on for almost a month and it didn’t look like there was an end in sight.”

Bucky paid attention to how quickly she consumed her first glass of wine. She refilled her glass and nursed this one. Taking it slowly, but still, it was finished before she continued talking. Apparently she needed the liquid courage to get the rest of the story out.

“As I was leaving the firm one night I got cornered. It was dark, and I couldn’t see his face, but I knew it was someone close to Schmidt. He told he I had to lose some evidence, or misplace some papers. If I didn’t then my family’s lives would be at stake. He said there was some guy outside my dad’s place – this place, – and described it in detail. The white trim around the windows, his peonies in the front garden, and the hand print on the letter box. My handprint.”

Ellie took a breath. She twirled the empty glass around in her fingers. Again, she couldn’t rest. Always doing something to keep herself occupied.

“I wanted to lose the evidence. I tried to break into my bosses office where she kept her notes for court. Where I was most likely to find whatever this guy needed me to lose. But I couldn’t do it. And the next day in court I had to excuse myself. I went and called dad just to make sure he was still okay. That nothing had happened to him. And the piece of evidence they needed me to lose was brought up after the recess. When I got home that night he was in my apartment. It had been trashed and I was scared. Scared because I could see how nonchalant he was with the gun in his hand. How he was trying to convince me that breaking the law and losing this evidence was in mine and my father’s best interest.

“He didn’t want to hear my excuses. He told me to fix it. To get rid of my bosses notes, or rewrite them. I tried to make it believable. I did the best I could. But she only has the notes to look professional. She carries them around like a comforter, everything is already memorised. Everything they asked me to do was impossible. I have no sway in the courtroom and I was surprised I was even on the case. They killed him, James. Maybe not Schmidt but someone from the Red Skulls, or Hydra, did it. Their methods of torture matched with the way my father was murdered.”

“Why didn’t you tell someone sooner?” He asked, watching her reach for the bottle of wine. Right now her emotions were in check. She’d managed to make herself seem detached from reality for long enough to tell the story. To piece the puzzle together for Bucky, but now he had questions. She was sure the waterworks were bound to start again any second.

“They told me if I so much as breathed a word of this to anyone then someone else would die. Maybe it would be me. Perhaps it was my boss, or her son who just turned five. Or the Judge’s three month old granddaughter. I was too scared to do anything. Talk to anyone. I couldn’t even make myself beg my father to try and skip town.” She huffed a laugh and took a large gulp of her wine. “I didn’t talk and they still killed so many people. All the people at the shooting down main street, and the Maximoff twins…”

Ellie shook her head and pressed her thumb and index finger against the bridge of her nose.

“I don’t want to scare you any further,” he said. “But there’s a possibility that you did see someone in your backyard last night. And it was likely a Red Skull trying to come and either spook you or tie off their loose ends.”

“Well, I’m certainly not scared,” she replied. “I’m fucking terrified. What have I gotten myself into, Jamie?”

“I wish I knew,” he told her truthfully. “Thank you for trusting me enough to talk to me, Ellie-cat.”

She shrugged. “You gave me no choice,” she pointed out. “You ambushed me at the bakery earlier, and soon enough the town is going to be rattled with storm troopers.”

“State Troopers,” he corrected her.

Ellie blew a raspberry. The wine had done its due diligence, just as she’d hoped it would. Lowering her inhibitions enough to openly talk about everything that’d she’d kept so tightly under wraps. Except now that the filter was gone, Bucky wasn’t sure what he was in for, but he knew he couldn’t leave her in this state. He had to feed her, and he wasn’t planning on leaving her alone tonight, but the thought had to be her own.

It was part of the reason why he’d bought up the man in her backyard last night. If she actually trusted him, she’d ask him to stay with her. He was ready and willing to, but she’d be against it if it was his idea.

“You hungry, Ellie-cat?” He asked. “You didn’t eat your sandwich at the bakery earlier.”

She hummed, her head resting back against the couch. “I could eat. I haven’t touched the quiche you bought around yesterday. Truth be told, I was going to bin the whole thing because you pissed me off. But it looks good. Mind heating me up a slice?”

Bucky would have done his best to cook her a three-course meal if that’s what she felt like. He could handle heating up some quiche in a microwave. Rising to his feet and making himself at home in the kitchen. Grabbing the dish from the fridge, and some plates from the cupboard. He felt like some, too.

When he rejoined Ellie less than five minutes later she’d placed her wine glass on the coffee table and had started to tidy up the magazines and books. Earlier she’d attempted to read something, but had given up and left a mess behind. Now she felt like she had to return everything to their rightful places. Bucky set the plates on the coffee table and turned the tv on.

“You mind if I watch something?” He asked.

He’d already made himself at home. Taking his seat again and finding a sports channel. Truth be told, he wasn’t interested in the game, but was more intent on keeping the channel away from the evening news. What had happened earlier was horrendous, and he’d told Ellie the parts of what happened that she needed to know. In time she’d heard the whole story, and there was nothing he could do about that, but right now she was fragile. He wanted to delay the inevitable by a day, at least, so she had time to come to terms with the fact that these men were bad people.

No matter what she did or didn’t do for them, they would have hurt people anyway. They didn’t need a reason. Slowly she’d come to understand that, if she hadn’t already.

Ellie returned to her seat and picked up the plate of quiche. She used the fork to pick at it. Bucky kept an eye on her in his peripheral vision. Pretending to be more entranced by the game than he actually was.

“Did you actually make this?” She asked tentatively.

Bucky nodded around a mouthful. “It’s nothing gourmet, I know, but it’s edible,” he replied. It actually tasted better than he thought. He helped himself to another mouthful and watched her raise her own fork. Taking a small bite just to taste it before devouring a proper mouthful. He chuckled softly to himself.

“I meant what I said earlier,” he told her. “About being here to help. If you need anything. Anything at all, you just gotta let me know. Your dad took care of a lot of us. Let us take care of you.”


	8. 08

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which a note isn't the only scare they have

Ellie was grateful that Bucky could read her like an open book. There were times it bothered her – proving to her that he still knew her after all these years. But she appreciated it in times where she wasn’t able to find the words to say. She wanted him to stay.

Not really, but she didn’t want to be alone. He was there with her, and he wanted to help her. He’d always looked after her, and he made it known that he still wanted to look after her. That was what she appreciated.

But once she’d eaten and put the wine away, she’d started to sober up. Bucky cleaned up the dishes, while she dried and put them away. It was a comfortable silence, albeit slightly awkward. She knew he was planning on leaving soon, and she had to work up the courage to actually ask him to stay.

“Jamie, wait,” she called out softly. He’d already wished her goodnight, and told her to call him if she needed anything else. Giving her a small hug before making his way to the front door.

“What is it, Ellie-cat?” He asked, closing the door and turning around to look at her.

“Do you think they’d be stupid enough to try and come for me? After what they did in town today, and the clubhouse...I’m scared,” she confessed in a whisper, her arms wrapped around her body, mimicking a hug. She needed the comfort.

“I think you should call your cop friend,” he told her. He knew what she was doing, but he wasn’t going to offer. She needed to ask him. She had to want him there, rather than have him force his presence on her. “The one who was here the other night and pulled a gun on me. I think they should have someone watching over you tonight, just in case?”

“Would you?” She asked. “Would you mind staying with me? If I call the cops I have to lie again, and I’m exhausted, Jamie. I just...you know what happened. They’d ask questions and I don’t want to deal with cops right now. Can you please stay?”

She had to know by now that he could never say ‘no’ to her, even if he tried.

He nodded. “Yeah, sweetheart, I can stay,” he told her. “I’ll stay down here on the couch if you need me, okay?”

“Thank you.” She exhaled shakily. “Can you please lock the door behind you? I’ll go grab some blankets to make up the couch.”

He knew it took her a lot to ask, so he listened without question. Locking the door and sliding the deadbolt home before turning to step into the living room again. Closing the curtains so no one had a perfect view inside, and double checking all windows and the back door.

Ellie was back in the living room while he wandered around the house. She didn’t protest, but was actually appreciative he made sure everything was locked and secure. Her ears pricking up when he started to ascend the stairs.

“Stay out of the last room on the left,” she told him.

Her voice was a lot harsher than she meant it to be. Bucky understood that it must be her father’s room, so he turned on the stairs to look at her.

“I-It’s my father’s room.”

“Door stays shut,” he assured her before continuing up the staircase. The wood creaking under his frame, and then he’s disappeared from her sight.

Ellie exhaled heavily. She shook out the blanket and draped it over the cushions, fluffing a pillow as she got the couch ready. It was uncomfortable, and considering that he was a considerable amount taller than her, she knew he’d have a terrible sleep. If he got to sleep at all. She just wanted it to seem cozier for him, and that she was welcoming and accommodating. Considering that he was staying at her request, it was the least she could do.

She heard a phone ringing from upstairs and a quick pat of her pocket confirmed that it wasn’t hers. Hearing Bucky’s voice fill the silence and sensing the urgency and concern in his tone. His voice was hushed, but grew louder as he started to make his way downstairs.

“I’m so sorry, Ellie, I have to go,” Bucky told her, eyebrows drawn together. He looked distraught by whoever had called, and whatever had been said.

Ellie reached out for him, concern written all over her face. “Is everything okay? Was there another hit?”

“No, it’s–my mom,” he said, running a hand through his hair.

“Let me grab a coat,” she said, squeezing his arm reassuringly. “I’ll come with you.”

He wanted to protest and Ellie sensed that, but she was glad he stayed quiet. Rushing upstairs to slip on a pair of boots and grab a coat. Glad Bucky had waited for her downstairs, she grabbed her keys and took his hand in hers. Locking the house behind her.

Bucky shot off a quick text to Matriarchy, a simple ‘mom 911’ was all he had to say. She’d know he’d be out of town making sure she was okay, so she’d handle Patriarchy and the rest of the club. He didn’t have the patience to deal with Patriarchy himself anymore.

Grabbing his helmet from his bike, he put it on Ellie’s head and donned the strap beneath her chin. She frowned slightly, watching him straddle the bike before looking over his shoulder. She tried to copy his movements, settling down behind him. He made sure her arms were secured around his waist before starting the bike up and speeding off down the road.

Ellie had heard stories when they were children. Bucky had never confirmed or denied anything, but she knew something was happening at home. His explanation, about why he left school, had been that they were in some kind of financial hardship. He worked two jobs after school as it was, so hearing that he dropped out so his sister didn’t have to work wasn’t a stretch. He sent any money home that he made, but her guess was that it wasn’t enough. Perhaps times got worse.

She held on a little tighter, resting her head against his back. She felt one of his hands cover hers briefly before it found the handlebars again. He appreciated the comfort she offered.

The drive gave her time to think. Who was this ‘Sitwell’ person? What made him think she had told anyone anything. She couldn’t remember if he was tied to the case at all, but if he was Hydra there was a chance he’d managed to keep his name out of the spotlight. Perhaps he was higher ranking than Schmidt? The whole situation made her head spin, and she wondered how much longer it would be until they arrived at their destination.

Ellie took in the surroundings as the bike slowed down. Rolling in through the gates of the care home, she realised his family situation was a lot more serious than he let on. She hadn’t expected him to be forthcoming with the information – all she’d wanted to know is why he’d dropped out of school. They hadn’t quite settled back into an easy relationship, like the one they’d had in school. All of the things that had happened recently had brought them together again, but they had to work on trusting each other again.

Baby steps.

Bucky parked his bike near the entrance, helping Ellie disembark and take the helmet off. She took his hand in hers and he led her up the walkway, swiping a card to allow him after hours access. The door opening for them, and he led her through the main halls until they arrived at the medical wing. He rang the buzzer and gave his name, and soon someone was down to let them in.

“She’s been going out more alone,” the nurse explained. “She wasn’t back for dinner so I asked one of the groundsmen to take a walk. See if he could find her and bring her back for dinner. We think she stopped to sit down, but she’s fallen and looks a bit worse for wear. Nasty gash on her forehead, broken wrist. She’s doing okay now. Won’t talk to any of us. Maybe you can try?”

“Yeah,” Bucky agreed with a nod. He’d never had any luck in the past getting her to talk to him, but he still held out hope.

“Ring the buzzer if you need any assistance. She’s been a little bit hostile since the fall,” the nurse advised, giving them both a smile before walking off to check other patients.

Bucky exhaled heavily.

“After I joined the Army, my old man got laid off at work. Struggled to find anything, and the money situation became harder. Even with what I sent back, it barely covered the essentials. Then he took up drinking. Racked up even more debts when we were struggling to make ends meet as it was. He started getting violent. My Ma bore the brunt of it, and one day it was too much. Ruptured an aneurism in her brain and she’s been in care ever since. Her motor functions are minimal, so she probably won’t say anything anyway. I just...want you to know what you’re in for. It’s a lot.”

“I’m here,” she told him simply, squeezing his hand reassuringly. She appreciated that he’d opened up to her, and knew he didn’t have to. She didn’t know what to say to properly express what she was thinking, so she settled for something simple. It’d mean more to him than a paragraph of emotion.

Bucky nodded and gave her a weak, but appreciative, smile. Pushing the door open enough for them to duck into the room, and Ellie closed it quietly behind them.

The woman on the bed turned to look at her guests, her eyes widening slightly as they settled on her son, but there was barely any other sign of acknowledgement that she recognised him.

“Hey, Ma,” Bucky said softly. “I hope you don’t mind that I bought a friend. This is Ellie. Ellie Baker. I told you about her a while ago, do you remember?”

The woman’s eyes moved from her son to Ellie’s, and then down to their intertwined fingers. She managed a small smile. A slight quirk to her lips. And just as quickly as it appeared, it was gone. Bucky gave Ellie’s hand a squeeze before letting go to pull up a couple of chairs to his mother’s bedside.

Ellie sat silently beside Bucky as he held his mother’s hand.

“What happened, Ma? Kate said you’re not talking to anyone?” Bucky asked, trying to get a response from the older woman and sighing as she stayed quiet. “Mama, please…”

“Jamie...just give her a minute,” Ellie said softly, placing a hand on his shoulder.

His mother turned her nose up at the nickname. “Jamie,” she said softly, squeezing his hand affectionately. It surprised them both, but what truly shocked them was a laugh that escaped the frail woman’s mouth.

“I think that she thinks you’re teasing me,” Bucky told Ellie. She laughed and leant forward slightly, letting the older woman see her properly.

“Tall, dark and handsome biker who answers to ‘Jamie’. Yeah, that’s intimidating,” Ellie agreed, causing the older woman to laugh again.

“You’re the only one that calls me ‘Jamie’, sweetheart,” he reminded her.

Heat warmed her cheeks and she ducked her head, embarrassed by the confession. And having him call her sweetheart. It made her heart rate spike and her breath catch in her throat. She coughed softly, sliding her hand down his arm to give his hand a squeeze.

“I’ll give you two a minute.”

Ellie stepped out of the room and gave them some privacy. She wanted to come along to support Bucky, but at the same time, she didn’t know his mother. And his mother didn’t know her. Ellie doubted whether or not she’d like a stranger seeing her in her current state, so she headed off to find a bathroom. Followed closely by somewhere she could make herself a cup of coffee.

One of the nurses let her use the kitchen, seeing as it was late and no one else was around. During the day they had a large coffee pot out in the waiting area they filled periodically, but after hours there was nothing. Ellie looked sweet enough that she could leave her to it while she made her rounds.

After almost 20 minutes she headed back to the room Bucky’s mom was in and gave a few soft knocks on the door before letting herself in. He turned and gave her a soft smile, inhaling the smell of coffee from her mug and reaching for it. It was nothing gourmet, but it’d do. She handed it over as she took a seat, and his mother watched the small interaction with curious eyes.

“Tastes like shit,” he commented.

“Watch your mouth in front of your mother,” she chastised, taking a sip of coffee once he handed it back to her. 

“Sorry, Ma,” he apologised sheepishly. “But it does. You ain’t missin’ much.”

The older woman didn’t respond initially, but she gave his hand a squeeze. “Miss Jamie.”

“I miss you too, Mama,” he told her, getting choked up by the first proper thing she’d said to him in years. “I’ll try to come around more often, okay? We’ll go for walks together.”

She bought her other hand over to cover his and patted it a couple of times. Her gesture to say ‘yes, I’d like that very much’. Smiling at him before reaching up to wipe away his tears.

“You scared me,” he confessed quietly. “I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you. Can you promise me you’ll be a bit more careful next time?”

“Jamie,” she said firmly. He took that as confirmation. He wasn’t going to push her to say anything else, so if his name was all she could offer, he’d happily accept it. Giving her a smile and leaning forward to kiss her cheek.

“I love you, ma. I’m glad you’re okay, but we should go. Let you get some rest. I’ll stop by later, okay?”

She smiled at him and closed her eyes, letting them stay shut. Bucky took that as his cue and together he and Ellie left the room.

“You can stay with your Mom if you want, Jamie,” Ellie told him softly. “I can get a cab home. I don’t want you to leave just because of me.”

“I’m not,” he replied. “She’s okay. She’s in the best place for her. Having me hover would just stress her out. Thank you for coming with me, Ellie-cat. I’m still happy to stay on your couch if you want me there.”

“I do,” she assured him. “I’ll just pop this back in the kitchen and then we can go, hm?”


End file.
